Id Do It Again Goofy Judge

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Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how difficult it is being a adult female looking the mode I do.

Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.

Jessica Rabbit: I'k nifty. I'one thousand just fatigued that way.

[Approximate Doom about to "dip" Roger]

Eddie Valiant: Hey, Estimate. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?

Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be dainty.

Eddie Valiant: I call up you want a beverage. And then, how about it, Guess?

Guess Doom: Well, why not? I don't heed prolonging the execution.

Eddie Valiant: Happy trails.

Roger Rabbit: No thank you, Eddie. I'one thousand trying to cutting down.

Eddie Valiant: Drink the drinkable.

Roger Rabbit: But I don't want the drinkable.

Judge Doom: He doesn't want the drink.

Eddie Valiant: He does.

Roger Rabbit: I don't.

Eddie Valiant: You do.

Roger Rabbit: I don't.

Eddie Valiant: You do.

Roger Rabbit: I don't.

Eddie Valiant: You do.

Roger Rabbit: I don't.

Eddie Valiant: You don't.

Roger Rabbit: I do.

Eddie Valiant: You lot don't.

Roger Rabbit: I practice.

Eddie Valiant: You don't.

Roger Rabbit: [taking drink] Mind, when I say I exercise, that means I do.

[Roger smokes upwardly, releasing him self from Estimate Doom, and Eddie takes out the Weasels]

Eddie Valiant: You lot crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my cervix for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!

Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.

Eddie Valiant: Sit downwards!

Roger Rabbit: You lot don't sympathize. Those people needed to express joy.

Eddie Valiant: And so when they're washed laughing, they'll phone call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.

Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never plough me in.

Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him express mirth?

Roger Rabbit: That'southward right! A laugh can exist a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.

Roger Rabbit: Yeah. Cheque the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a trouble with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and potable lots of h2o.

Eddie Valiant: Non prostate, y'all idiot, PROBATE!

Eddie Valiant: [later on discovering Doom after being flattened past a Steamroller get upwardly and wobbling to his anxiety] Holy fume, he's a Toon!

Judge Doom: Surprised?

Eddie Valiant: Not actually. That lame-brained freeway idea could simply be cooked up by a Toon.

Approximate Doom: Non just Whatsoever Toon...

[Doom wobbles over to an oxygen tank, puts the valve in his mouth and turns it on. He inflates back to his quondam self. His lid flies off and his prosthetic eyeballs pop out. So he turns menacingly to Eddie, his eyes glowing a grim Toon red. Eddie gasps in terror]

Estimate Doom: [voice getting higher, until it reaches a high-pitched squeak] Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I talked... just... like... THIS!

[eyes pop out in the shape of daggers]

[Eddie is hiding Roger in his jacket]

Dolores: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you lot just happy to see me?

Roger Rabbit: [after bursting in through the drain, belongings a gun] Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I permit the estimate accept information technology. You heard me, I said drop information technology!

Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling!

Roger Rabbit: That's right, my honey. I'd love to comprehend you lot, merely first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.

Judge Doom: Put that gun down, yous buck-toothed fool!

Roger Rabbit: That'south it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pump you lot full of pb. So you thought you could get away with information technology, didn't you? Ha! Nosotros toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real significant of the discussion probably hits y'all like a ton of bricks.

[a ton of bricks falls on Roger from above]

Jessica Rabbit: Roger! Roger, say something!

Roger Rabbit: [Stars circumvolve effectually Roger'southward head] Look, stars! Ready when you are, Raoul.

Eddie Valiant: [Roger managed to slip his arm out of the Handcuffs he and Eddie were attached to] You mean you could've taken your hand out of that gage at any time?

Roger Rabbit: No, not at whatsoever time, only when it was funny.

Jessica Rabbit: C'mon Roger, permit'southward go home. I'll bake you a carrot cake.

Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...

[bottle falls on his head]

Roger Rabbit: Nose!

Smart Ass: Olfactory organ? That don't rhyme with "walls."

Eddie Valiant: No, but this does.

[kicks Smartass in the crotch, propelling him into a vat of Dip]

Bugs Bunny: [Eddie is falling; Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, both wearing parachutes, join him] Eh, what'due south up, Doc? Jumpin' without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?

Eddie Valiant: Yeah.

Mickey Mouse: Yeah. You could become killed. Ha-ha, ha-ha.

Eddie Valiant: You guys got a spare?

Mickey Mouse: Uh, Bugs does.

Eddie Valiant: Yeah?

Bugs Bunny: [in a sing-song tone] Aye, but I don't think you want it.

Eddie Valiant: I do, I do, give it to me!

Mickey Mouse: Gee, uh, improve allow him have it, Bugs.

Bugs Bunny: Okay, Doc, whatsoever you lot say, hither'due south the spare.

[hands Eddie the spare parachute]

Eddie Valiant: Cheers.

Eddie Valiant: Thank y'all.

[Mickey and Bugs deploy parachutes; Eddie pulls ripcord on parachute, and a car tire inflates]

Eddie Valiant: Aw, no! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Mickey Mouse: Aw, poor fella. Ha ha.

Bugs Bunny: Yep, ain't I a stinker?

Lena Hyena: [Eddie continues falling until Lena Hyena catches him before he hits the basis] My man!

[Gives him a stretching kiss, Eddie tumbles backwards away from her a long way]

Lena Hyena: Come to Lena!

Eddie Valiant: [Starts running towards him, Eddie rips part of a street line and moves it toward a wall which she runs straight into] Toons. Gets 'em every time.

Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?

Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...

Eddie Valiant: Who?

Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the light-green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know! But the liquor store guy... he knew.

Eddie Valiant: [Grabs Roger and sends him to the door] In other words, the whole damn boondocks knows you're hither! Become out!

[first lines]

Mrs. Herman: Mommy's going to the dazzler parlor, darling, merely I'm leaving y'all with your favorite friend, Roger. He's going to take very, very expert care of y'all, because if he doesn't... HE'Due south GOING BACK TO THE Science LAB.

Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happen to you to plow you into such a sourpuss?

Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.

Roger Rabbit: A toon? No!

Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the Kickoff National Bank of Toontown. Dorsum in those days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, idea it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive downward on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on u.s.a., literally. Dropped a pianoforte on the states from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I think was him standing over me laughing, with those burning ruby eyes, and that high, squeaky vocalization. He disappeared into Toontown later on that.

Roger Rabbit: [every bit Eddie's attempting to push him out of his office] P-p-please, Eddie! Don't throw me out. Don't you realize you're making a big mistake? I didn't impale anybody. I swear! The whole affair's a set up up. A scam, a frame task. Ow! Eddie, I could never hurt anybody. Oow! My whole purpose in life is to make... people... express joy!

[Jessica and Roger are tied upward together, most to become dipped by Judge Doom'southward Dip-O-Matic Vehicle]

Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling. I desire you to know I dearest yous. I've loved y'all more than any adult female's ever loved a rabbit.

Dolores: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?

Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?

[Turns tap handle, Dip pours out onto a silverish plate]

Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it'due south DIP!

Estimate Doom: That'southward right, my dearest! Plenty to dip Toontown off the face of the globe!

[Removes the curtain, revealing a vehicle that contains a tonne of dip stored]

Judge Doom: Vehicle of my ain design; v,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized h2o cannon. Toontown will be erased in a matter of minutes.

Judge Doom: [Explaining his plan to obliterate Toontown] A few weeks ago I had the skillful providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway.

Eddie Valiant: Pike? What the hell's a freeway?

Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams volition be a thing of the by.

Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Tiptop and Maroon? For this thruway? I don't get it.

Judge Doom: Of form not. Yous lack vision, but I run into a place where people become on and off the throughway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Presently, where Toontown once stood will be a cord of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far equally the eye can see. My God, information technology'll exist beautiful.

[Bongo catches Eddie spying on Jessica]

Bongo: What exercise yous recall you're doing, doormat?

Eddie Valiant: Who are yous calling a chump, chimp?

[growls, picks upwardly Eddie and carries him to the backstage door and throws Eddie into the garbage]

Bongo: Don't permit me catch your peeping face around here once again. Got it?

[growls and slams the door]

Eddie Valiant: OOGA-BOOGA!

Eddie Valiant: Dolores, you demand to find yourself a good man.

Dolores: Merely I already accept a good man.

[they are nigh to kiss when Roger sighs - they turn to him]

Roger Rabbit: P-p-delight, don't mind me.

Guess Doom: [Borer his pikestaff confronting the wall] Shave, and a haircut...

[Roger crashes through the wall]

Roger Rabbit: Ii $.25!

[Guess Doom successfully grabs Roger circular the neck]

[as they're filming a Baby Herman Drawing, things go incorrect at the point when the Refrigerator gets dropped on Roger'south head]

Raoul J. Raoul: Cut! Cut, cutting, cut, cut, Cutting!

Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with THAT accept?

Raoul J. Raoul: Nada with you lot, Baby Herman. You lot were neat. Y'all were perfect. Y'all were Meliorate than perfect! Information technology'south Roger, he keeps BLOWING HIS LINES! Roger, what is this?

Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird.

Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird." Roger, read this script. Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets klunked, rabbit sees STARS." Not birds, STARS!

R.K. Maroon: How much do y'all know about testify concern, Mr. Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.

R.Yard. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business concern more than expensive. I'm 25 yard over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his listen on his job. Yous know why?

Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?

R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his caput, he'll shake it off. But pause his center, goes to pieces only like you and me.

[Eddie sneaks upwardly on Maroon]

Eddie Valiant: What's up, Dr.?

R.G. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to requite me a heart attack?

Eddie Valiant: Yous need a heart, before you can have an attack.

R.1000. Maroon: Yeah, yes. Yous got the will?

Eddie Valiant: Sure. I got the will. Question is, practice yous accept the fashion? I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap.

Betty Boop: Work's been kinda dull since cartoons went to color. Merely I've still got it. Boo boo be do, boo.

Eddie Valiant: A ladies' man, eh?

Infant Herman: The problem is I got a fifty twelvemonth erstwhile lust and a three year old dinky.

Eddie Valiant: Yeah. Must be tough.

Baby Herman: Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't impale Height. He's not a murderer, I should know, he'southward a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing stinks similar yesterday'due south diapers. Expect at this. The papers said Acme left no will.

[Tosses Eddie a Newspaper which shows Marvin Acme with a will in the pocket of his shirt]

Babe Herman: That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Superlative had a will. He promised to go out Toontown to us toons. That volition is the real reason he got bumped off.

Eddie Valiant: Has anybody ever seen this will?

Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave united states of america his solemn oath.

Eddie Valiant: If yous think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag'south on you, pal.

Infant Herman: I just thought that since yous were the one who got my pal in trouble, you lot might wanna assistance get him out. I can pay ya.

Eddie Valiant: [aroused] Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!

[pushes stroller]

Baby Herman: Hey hey hay, Valiant, look!

[cigar falls to floor as stroller hits woman]

Baby Herman: My stogie!

[sees ruined cigar]

Babe Herman: WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAA...

Roger Rabbit: [In the Cinema] Boy, did y'all see that? Nobody takes a wallop similar Goofy. What timing! What finesse! What a genius!

Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That alphabetic character you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Order? Why don't you lot read it to her at present?

Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Beloved Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Meridian, of sound heed and body...? It's the will!

Eddie Valiant: Proceed reading.

Roger Rabbit: "... do hereby bestow, in perpetuity, the property known as Toontown, to those lovable characters, the toons"!

Jessica Rabbit: [Aims a gun at Eddie Valiant] Valiant.

Eddie Valiant: I e'er knew I'd go information technology in Toontown.

[every bit he turns around, A shadow of Judge Doom with a gun appears on the wall]

Jessica Rabbit: Behind you lot!

[Shoots at the shadow; information technology falls back and the gun drops on the floor]

Eddie Valiant: Drop it, lady!

Jessica Rabbit: I just saved your life, and you nevertheless don't trust me?

Eddie Valiant: I don't trust everyone or annihilation!

Jessica Rabbit: Not even your own eyes?

[Points at the gun on the floor]

Jessica Rabbit: That's the gun that killed R.Thousand. Maroon, and Doom pulled the trigger.

Eddie Valiant: Doom?

Jessica Rabbit: I tracked him to the studio, but I was also belatedly to terminate him.

Judge Doom: [Running down the alley] That'south right! You'll never finish me! You lot're expressionless! You're both expressionless!

Eddie Valiant: Doom!

[Shoots from his toon gun; Doom turns right and the bullets stop in mid air]

Bullet #3: Which way did he go?

Bullet #2: I don't know. He went thataway.

Bullet #iii: Let's get.

[They plough left, the wrong way]

Eddie Valiant: Dum-dums.

[last lines]

Porky Squealer: All right. M-k-m-ove along now. Th-th-there's zero left to see here. That'southward all folks. Mmm, I like the sound of that.

Porky Pig: [turns to audition; iris closes in on Porky and "Merry-Get-Round Broke Down" plays on soundtrack]

Porky Sus scrofa: Th-th-th-that'southward all, folks!

Angelo: So who'south your customer, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Dank Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?

Dolores: What'll it be?

Angelo: I'll accept a beer, doll. And so what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?

Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.

Angelo: No, wait a minute, wait a infinitesimal, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna assistance her discover them, huh?

[Angelo laughs. Eddie kicks Angelo'south seat out from under him and grabs him by the neck]

Eddie Valiant: Get this directly, meatball. I... don't... work... for toons.

[Eddie stuff a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's rima oris and storms off]

Angelo: [spits out the egg] So, what'due south his problem?

Dolores: A toon killed his brother

Angelo: What?

Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.

Eddie Valiant: What's that?

Lt. Santino: Call back how they e'er thought at that place wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls information technology "The Dip."

Guess Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll effort him, convict him, and execute him.

[dips shoe in poison, and cremation smoke starts sizzling out]

Eddie Valiant: Geez.

Greasy: [laughs] That's ane dead shoe, eh, dominate?

Approximate Doom: They're non kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. This is how nosotros handle things downwardly in Toontown. I would retrieve you of all people would appreciate that.

Lt. Santino: But like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head.

Roger Rabbit: Jeepers, Eddie. That was nifty. You saved my life. How can I ever repay ya?

[kisses Eddie, Eddie pulls away]

Eddie Valiant: For starters, don't ever kiss me over again.

R.One thousand. Maroon: Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: Adept looking guy similar that? Dames will be breaking his doors downwards.

Roger Rabbit: Dames? What dames?

[Angrily grabbing Eddie by the lapels]

Roger Rabbit: Jessica's the only ane for me. You'll meet. Nosotros'll ascent above this piddling pecadillo. We're gonna exist happy again. You got that? Happy. Uppercase H-A-P-P-I.

[Runs through window]

Eddie Valiant: At to the lowest degree he took information technology well.

Roger Rabbit: [equally Eddie's operation causes the Toon Patrol to literally die of laughter] Continue it up, Eddie. You're killing 'em. You lot're slaying 'em! You're knocking 'em DEAD!

Eddie Valiant: Look a infinitesimal. Wait a minute. Yous hateful to tell me that in a fit of jealousy yous wrote your married woman a honey alphabetic character?

Roger Rabbit: That's right! I knew that she was merely an innocent victim of circumstance.

Eddie Valiant: I suppose you used the old lipstick on the mirror routine.

Roger Rabbit: Lipstick, yeah. Mirror, no. I establish a nice, clean piece of newspaper.

[reading]

Roger Rabbit: "Beloved Jessica: How do I dear thee? Allow me count the ways. Ane one-one thousand. Two one-1000. Three one-thousand. Iv one-one thousand. V...?

Roger Rabbit: Say, Eddie. That sure was a funny dance you did for the weasels. Do you lot call back your days of beingness a sourpuss are over?

Eddie Valiant: Simply fourth dimension volition tell.

Roger Rabbit: Yeah, well... put 'er there, pal.

[They milkshake hands; Eddie gets shocked by buzzer on Roger's manus; he glowers at Roger]

Roger Rabbit: Don't tell me you lost your humour already?

Eddie Valiant: [Grabbing Roger by the throat] Does this answer your question?

[Eddie kisses Roger in the mouth]

Forensic #1: Didn't you used to be Eddie Valiant? Or did you alter your name to Jack Daniels?

Roger Rabbit: Heed, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a practiced sense of humor, you're ameliorate off expressionless.

Eddie Valiant: Y'all might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this.

[Tosses a photograph at Dolores]

Roger Rabbit: What is information technology, Eddie?

Eddie Valiant: Just look at it.

[the photograph is an enlargement of 1 of the photos of Elevation and Jessica, with a paper in Tiptop'southward coat pocket circled]

Roger Rabbit: Mister Top'southward will!

Eddie Valiant: Yeah, and I think Peak took the part of sound mind, and your wife of sound body.

Roger Rabbit: Why, I resent that innuendo!

[Doom pours a canister of dip onto the road, which Benny with Eddie and Jessica drives into, and crashes into a Lamppost]

Judge Doom: What an unfortunate accident. Null more treacherous than a slippery road, especially when driving in a maniacal toon vehicle.

Eddie Valiant: Here'due south to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.

Dolores: I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels.

[Eddie is about to pick upward the mitt buzzer that fell off of Acme's corpse when Estimate Doom stops him with his pikestaff]

Gauge Doom: Is this human being removing evidence from the scene of the offense?

Lt. Santino: Ah, no, Judge Doom. Valiant here was just picking it up for y'all. Weren't you, Eddie?

Judge Doom: Hand it over.

Eddie Valiant: Sure.

[zaps Doom with buzzer]

Eddie Valiant: Their number one seller.

Approximate Doom: I see working for a toon has rubbed off on y'all.

Eddie Valiant: I wasn't working for a toon. I was working for R.Thou. Maroon.

Judge Doom: Yes, we talked to Mr. Maroon. He told us the rabbit became quite agitated when you showed him the pictures. The rabbit said one manner or another he and his wife were going to be happy. Is that true?

Eddie Valiant: Do I look like a stenographer?

Lt. Santino: Shut your yap, Eddie. The human being's a judge.

Judge Doom: That's all right, Lieutenant. From the scent of him, I'd say it was the booze talking.

Baby Herman: For crying out loud, Roger, I don't know how many times we have to do this damn scene! Raoul, I'll be in my trailer, taking a nap!

[Walks between a adult female'southward legs]

Baby Herman: 'Scuse me, toots.

Lt. Santino: [having woken up Eddie from a drunken stupor] Gee whiz, Eddie, if you lot really needed money so bad, then why didn't yous come to me?

Eddie Valiant: So I took a couple of dingy pictures, kill me.

Lt. Santino: I've already got a strong on my easily, thank you.

Eddie Valiant: Huh?

Lt. Santino: Marvin Acme. The rabbit cacked him terminal nighttime.

Benny the Cab: [Noticing the Remains of Judge Doom, having been dissolved by a Big Pile of Dip] Sister Mary Frances! What the hell happened in here? I've been a cab for thirty-seven years, and I've never seen a mess like this!

Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when y'all tin't stop laughing?

[hits ii with a plunger, and throws information technology at Stupid]

Smart Donkey: 1 of these days, y'all're gonna dice laughing.

[Eddie is hiding Roger and the handcuffs in his sink, to hide him from the Toon Patrol]

Smart Ass: Okay, wise-guy. Where's the rabbit?

Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im.

Smart Donkey: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What'south in there?

Eddie Valiant: [holds upwards a dingy sock] My lingerie.

Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose] I come across, Valiant.

[Eddie is hanging on to a flagpole with Tweety Bird's nest on top; Tweety gets up and walks over to Eddie'due south fingers]

Tweety: Oh, wook, piddies!

Eddie Valiant: Hi, Tweety.

Tweety: This widdle piddy went to market.

[lifts one of Eddie's fingers from the pole]

Tweety: This widdle piddy stayed habitation.

[lifts another one]

Eddie Valiant: No.

Tweety: This widdle piddy had woast beefiness...

[lifts another i]

Tweety: [wincing] And *this* widdle piddy - had...

[Eddie falls]

Tweety: [sadly] Uh-oh, wan outta piddies.

Judge Doom: [while putting on a large black prophylactic glove] Since I've had Toontown nether my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only style to do that is to make Toons respect...

[lets the glove snap back onto his arm]

Judge Doom: ... the police force.

Roger Rabbit: Male child, what is this, some kind of hugger-mugger room?

Dolores: It'southward a rotgut room, holdover from Prohibition.

Roger Rabbit: Oh, I become information technology, a speakeasy, a gin manufacturing plant, a hooch parlor.

Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my caput i more time!

Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.

Roger Rabbit: I can have it, don't worry nearly me.

Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried nigh you lot, I'1000 worried nigh the Fridge!

Roger Rabbit: Just I tin give you lot stars, Look!

[Raoul storms out, not paying any attending to Roger slapping a Frying Pan on his caput and producing many furnishings, none of them stars]

Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You lot know what happens here on Friday?

Eddie Valiant: Fish special?

Dolores: Well, my boss checks the books on Friday. And if I don't have that money I gave you dorsum in the till, I'm gonna lose my job.

Eddie Valiant: Don't bust a button, Dolores.

[extracts his $50 check]

Eddie Valiant: You've but got i left.

[to Eddie]

Roger Rabbit: Is in that location nothing that can permeate that impervious puss?

Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! Information technology tin't exist! Information technology merely can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely incommunicable! Jessica'south the love of my life. The apple tree of my centre. The cream in my coffee.

Eddie Valiant: Well you ameliorate start drinking it black, Summit's taking the cream now.

Judge Doom: [picks upwards the record from the record actor - reads] "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down". What a looney selection for a group of drunken reprobates.

[all the drinkers turn away and coughing - Doom sniffs the tape]

Guess Doom: HE'S HERE!

[throws record like a Frisbee into Stupid's oral cavity; the other weasels laugh]

Judge Doom: Finish that laughing!

[Hits Smart Donkey with his cane]

Estimate Doom: Have you forgotten what happened terminal time? If you don't stop that laughing, yous're going to end up dead just like your idiot hyena cousins!

Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the i who took the pictures of your wife.

Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the 1 who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, in that location's only one identify to go: Valiant & Valiant.

Eddie Valiant: Non anymore.

[as Doom is searching for Roger by tapping "Shave and a Haircut"]

Eddie Valiant: I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom.

[Roger's teeth chatter, every bit he tries to resist Judge Doom's borer]

Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Eddie. Yous know there's no justice for toons anymore. If the weasels get their hands on me, I'm as proficient as dipped.

Eddie Valiant: So, how long have you known it was Doom?

Jessica Rabbit: Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to become his easily on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at annihilation.

Eddie Valiant: So he gave you the will for safe keeping.

Jessica Rabbit: That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope, at that place was only a bare piece of paper inside.

Eddie Valiant: Ha! A joker to the terminate.

Birds: Hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... how-do-you-do, Eddie... bye, Eddie!

Roger Rabbit: [singing] My buddy's Eddie V. / A sourpuss, you'll come across / Just when I'thousand done, he'll need no gun / 'Crusade a joker he will be / C-D-East-F-Grand-H-I / I... love to raise some Cain / Believe me, it's no strain / It feels so groovy to nail a plate / And await, 'cause at that place'due south no pain!

[breaks plate on caput]

Roger Rabbit: ...no pain!

[breaks plate]

Roger Rabbit: ...no pain!

[keeps breaking plates until Eddie stops the record]

Eddie Valiant: Everything'south funny to you, ain't it, needlenose?

Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: No, I simply want yous to know something about the guy you're gonna dip.

[Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry-Go-Circular Broke Down"]

Eddie Valiant: [singing] Now Roger is his proper name / Laughter is his game / C'mon y'all dope, untie his rope / And lookout man him go insane.

[He starts dancing and tumbling around, as the weasels express joy]

Jessica Rabbit: He'due south lost his mind.

Roger Rabbit: I don't think and so.

Roger Rabbit: I just don't believe it. I won't believe information technology. I can't believe it. I shan't believe information technology.

Child #three: [Riding on the back of a trolley with Eddie] Hey, mister. Ain't y'all got a car?

Eddie Valiant: Who needs a car in 50.A.? Nosotros have the best public transportation system in the world.

R.Chiliad. Maroon: [Eddie has him with his tie caught in the Movieola, and is threathening to strangle him unless he tells him about Cloverleaf'south involvement in the Summit murder] Terminate it! Stop it! Stop it! The truth is, I had a adventure to sell my studio. Just Cloverleaf wouldn't buy my property unless Pinnacle sold them his. The stubborn bounder wouldn't sell, so I was going to blackmail him with pictures of him and the rabbit'due south wife. Bribery, that's all! I've been around toons all my life! I didn't desire to see them destroyed!

Eddie Valiant: Toons destroyed? Why?

R.Thou. Maroon: If I tell you, I'm a dead man.

Eddie Valiant: Y'all're a dead man if you don't tell me.

R.K. Maroon: Unless Acme's will shows by midnight tonight, Toontown's gonna exist land for the free...

[is shot in the back by someone exterior the window]

Greasy: [In reference to Dorsum To The Futurity] I'm gonna ram 'em.

Eddie Valiant: Nobody's gonna drive this lousy state highway when they tin have the Red Automobile for a nickel.

Judge Doom: Oh, they'll bulldoze. They'll have to. Yous see, I bought the Red Car then I could dismantle it.

[Donald and Daffy are playing "Hungarian Rhapsody #2" in a session of dueling pianos]

Donald Duck: Hey, hey! Cut it out!

Daffy Duck: Doeth anybody underthtand what thith duck ith thaying?

Roger Rabbit: [Emerges from the closet and slaps cuffs on Eddie] Eddie Valiant, you're under arrest! Pbbbbbbbbb...

Eddie Valiant: Become outta there! Idiot, I got no keys for these cuffs!

[Valiant runs upward to a trolley that is about to leave. He holds up his $50 check to the conductor]

Usher: What practice I look similar? A depository financial institution?

[Closes doors]

Smart Donkey: We searched Valiant boss. The will ain't on him.

Estimate Doom: Then frisk the woman.

Greasy: *I'll* handle this i...

[He puts his hand down her dress and feels effectually for a crush before screaming in pain and removing his hand which has been defenseless by a bear trap]

Eddie Valiant: [to Jessica] Nice booby trap.

[the weasels all express joy at Greasy'south misfortune, but Doom glares at them and they stop]

Guess Doom: Practise they take the will or not?

Smart Ass: Nah, but a stupid love letter of the alphabet.

Estimate Doom: No matter. I uncertainty that volition is going to show upwardly in the next xv minutes anyhow.

Eddie Valiant: What happens in the next fifteen minutes?

Estimate Doom: Toontown will be legally mine, lock, stock and barrel.

Gauge Doom: [deleted scene] We'll handle Mr. Valiant our ain way: downtown.

Eddie Valiant: Downtown? Fine. I'll just go a concord of Santino. I'll exist more than happy to go downtown.

Guess Doom: Oh, I'm not talking about *that* downtown. I'one thousand talking about downtown *Toon*town!

Judge Doom: [deleted scene] Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you lot looking for, Mr. Valiant?

Jessica Rabbit: Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir.

Eddie Valiant: Await, doll, if I'd wanted underwear, I'd take broken into Frederick's of Hollywood. You know damn well I was looking for Marvin Acme's will.

Judge Doom: Marvin Acme had no will. I should know; the estate's in my jurisdiction.

Eddie Valiant: Oh, in that location was a will all right. And she and R.K. Maroon killed him for it.

Jessica Rabbit: [offended] That's absurd!

Eddie Valiant: Someone else is in here looking for the will, likewise. Probably Maroon's flunkies.

[gestures toward the gorilla bouncer]

Eddie Valiant: I would've caught 'em, as well, if Cheetah here hadn't have interrupted me!

[Roger is sitting outside of the Height factory, crying while looking at pictures of him and Jessica]

Roger Rabbit: Oh Jessica, please tell me it's non true.

[sobbing]

Roger Rabbit: [the pictures are of Roger and Jessica's wedding, them at a embankment, and them hugging at a restaurant booth]

Roger Rabbit: [sobs] P-p-p-please.

Eddie Valiant: [to Delores] I'm on the verge of wrapping up this case.

[Judge Doom posts a $x,000 reward for Roger's capture]

Angelo: [whistles, so] Hey! I seen a rabbit.

Estimate Doom: Where?

[in the hugger-mugger room, Eddie turns to Roger]

Eddie Valiant: Run into?

Judge Doom: *Where*?

Angelo: He'southward right here in the bar.

[Angelo turns and puts his arm around the empty space above the bar stool side by side to him]

Angelo: Well, say hello... Harvey.

[the bar erupts into laughter]

Roger Rabbit: [smirks at Eddie] I told ya so.

Lt. Santino: Simply like a toon to drop a safety on a guy's head.

[Valiant looks at him in disgust]

Lt. Santino: Sorry, Eddie.

Smart Ass: Search the place, boys, and leave no rock interned.

[Eddie Valiant sits downward at the Ink and Paint Club; Marvin Meridian squirts ink from his pen on Eddie'due south shirt and laughs]

Eddie Valiant: You retrieve that'southward funny?

Marvin Acme: It'south a panic!

Eddie Valiant: [grabs Acme by the lapels] Y'all won't think information technology'due south funny when I stick that pen up your nose!

Marvin Superlative: Now, calm down, son, volition ya? Await, the stain is gone. It's disappearing ink.

[the stain fades away]

Marvin Acme: No difficult feelings, I hope. Listen, I'chiliad...

Eddie Valiant: I know who y'all are. Marvin Superlative, The guy that owns Toontown, the Gag King.

Marvin Tiptop: If it'southward Acme, it'southward a gasser. Put 'er in that location, pal.

[shakes hands with Eddie, who feels a shock]

Marvin Top: The paw cablegram. Still our biggest seller.

Judge Doom: You lot wouldn't have any thought where the rabbit might exist, Mr. Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: Take you lot tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very overnice this fourth dimension of the year.

Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't y'all appreciate the magnitude of that?

Roger Rabbit: Benny, is that you?

Benny the Cab: [sarcastically, trapped in the boot of the Toon Patrol's vehicle] No, it'south Eleanor Roosevelt! Go me outta hither, Roger!

Roger Rabbit: [Noticing Benny, injured from the Dip he drove through spilled onto the Road] Benny, is that you?

Benny the Cab: [sarcastically] No, information technology's Shirley Temple!

Smart Donkey: [From outside Eddie'due south Function] Don't make u.s.a. play rough, Valiant. Nosotros just want the rabbit.

Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna practice, Eddie? What are we gonna do?

Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They simply want the rabbit.

Dolores: [Ripping the Toon Buss mark from Jessica off Eddie's face] Practise y'all wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?

Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a pocketknife!

Dolores: Come on, Eddie! I defenseless you with your pants down!

Droopy Canis familiaris: [equally a bellhop] Going upwardly, sir?

[Eddie walks and falls on the elevator]

Droopy Dog: [looking down from boxes] Mind the stride, sir. Concord on, sir.

[Droopy pulls a lever and Eddie is pulled to the flooring with his head up as the elevator goes up fast]

Droopy Dog: [pushing the lever to terminate the elevator] Your floor, sir.

[Eddie is flung to the ceiling of the elevator]

Droopy Dog: [Eddie falls out of the door from the ceiling]

Droopy Dog: [with caput stretch] Take a skillful day, sir.

Judge Doom: Y'all encounter, Mr. Valiant, the successful decision of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new office in the private sector.

Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't exist Cloverleaf Industries, by any run a risk?

Estimate Doom: You're looking at the sole stockholder.

Dolores: [catching Eddie with Jessica] Dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?

[Eddie gets $50 for a $100 job]

Eddie Valiant: Where's the other fifty?

R.K. Maroon: Permit'southward call the other 50 a carrot to finish the chore.

Eddie Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long.

R.K. Maroon: [Being Interrogated by Eddie, to make him talk] What are you gonna do to me, Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: I'thousand gonna listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'thou gonna edit out.

R.Thou. Maroon: You got information technology all wrong, Valiant. I'm a cartoon maker, non a murderer.

Eddie Valiant: Everybody'due south gotta have a hobby.

Smart Ass: Wait, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. And then cutting the "bull-shtick"!

Eddie Valiant: You go along talkin' similar that, and I'one thousand gonna accept to wash your mouth out!

[he sticks a bar of lather in Smart Ass'southward mouth, making the other weasels laugh]

[Roger and Benny arrive outside the Peak Factory]

Roger Rabbit: Benny, you go to the cops. I'm gonna save my wife.

Benny the Cab: Be careful with that gun. This ain't no drawing, yous know.

Roger Rabbit: [Struggling to open a Nearby Window] Wouldn't you know? Locked!

[Roger presses his hand against the window and slips, landing into a Toilet that sucks him through]

Smart Ass: Say, Judge. You lot desire nosotros should disresemble the place?

Judge Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me.

[Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter]

Judge Doom: No toon can resist the sometime Shave-and-a-Haircut fox.

[Continues tapping]

Eddie Valiant: I'grand glad Teddy isn't here to see me running with my tail betwixt my legs.

Roger Rabbit: It'southward not and so bad, once you get used to it.

Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the ane I caught playing pattycake with erstwhile man Superlative?

Jessica Rabbit: Yous didn't grab me, Mr. Valiant. You were set to take those pictures.

Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about?

Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't desire to have annihilation to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures, Roger would never piece of work in this boondocks again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd exercise anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Annihilation.

[Presses her breast against Eddie's with a "thump"]

Eddie Valiant: What a married woman.

Roger Rabbit: [equally he dances on the bar's counter top] Woo-hoo-hoo! Nice shirt. Who'south your tailor? Quasimodo? Woo-hoo!

Gauge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit...

[goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget squats]

Guess Doom: - most YEEEEAAAA... big.

Dolores: Well look, there'southward no Rabbit here. So don't come in hither harrassing my customers.

Approximate Doom: I didn't come hither to harrass. I came here to reward.

Smart Ass: Hey Approximate, what should we do with the wallflower?

[referring to Eddie who is now visible through the hole in the wall]

Gauge Doom: [holding Roger by the neck] We'll settle with him later. Right at present, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip.

R.Grand. Maroon: [Pulls a gun on Eddie] Allow me see that volition.

Eddie Valiant: I told you lot, I got it.

R.K. Maroon: I wanna meet information technology now!

[Grabs the will from Eddie'due south coat and reads information technology]

R.Yard. Maroon: "How do I love thee, let me count the ways"? Is this supposed to be a joke?

Eddie Valiant: No, this is.

[Squirts seltzer on Maroon, then punches him]

Judge Doom: Have they got the will or not?

Smart Ass: [Holding out Jessica's Love Letter of the alphabet from Roger found in Eddie'southward pocket] Nah, simply a stupid dearest letter.

Gauge Doom: No thing. I doubt the will'll testify up in the next 15 minutes, anyway.

Eddie Valiant: What happens in the next fifteen minutes?

Guess Doom: Toontown will be legally mine, lock, stock and barrel.

Jessica Rabbit: Mr. Valiant?

[Eddie turns effectually; Jessica slaps him and walks abroad]

Jessica Rabbit: I promise you lot're proud of yourself, and those pictures yous took.

Eddie Valiant: Can I borrow your camera? Mine'due south at the shop.

Dolores: Wouldn't be the pawn shop, by any run a risk?

Eddie Valiant: C'mon, Dolores. You want the other fifty, I demand the camera.

[Dolores hands Eddie the camera]

Eddie Valiant: Any film in at that place?

Dolores: Should be. Oasis't had that film adult since our trip to Catalina. Sure was a long fourth dimension agone.

Eddie Valiant: Aye. that was along time ago. We should do that again some fourth dimension.

Dolores: Yeah, sure, Eddie.

[Yosemite Sam, with his rear terminate on fire, lands near Eddie]

Yosemite Sam: Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Burn down in the hatch! Bully horny toads, that smarts!

[Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the burn]

Benny the Cab: [as Eddie and Roger are escaping the Toon Patrol] And how nigh those Brooklyn Dodgers? Are they bums or what?

Marvin Acme: Over here, Jessica. I have everything gear up. Right here, on the bed.

Jessica Rabbit: Oh, not now, Marvin. I take a headache.

Marvin Tiptop: But Jessica, you promised.

Jessica Rabbit: Oh, all right. But this fourth dimension, take off that hand buzzer.

Smart Ass: And every bit for you, Valiant, step out of line, and nosotros'll hang you and your laundry out to dry.

Jessica Rabbit: Uh-oh. It's the weasels! This way. Nosotros'll take Gingerbread Lane.

Eddie Valiant: No, no! Gingerbread Lane's this mode!

[Points with his thumb; all of a sudden, Benny the Cab appears in front of them]

Benny the Cab: So, Valiant, you phone call a cab or what?

[Sees Jessica]

Benny the Cab: Hubba, hubba, hubba!

[Opens the door for her]

Benny the Cab: Permit me, mademoiselle.

Roger Rabbit: P-p-delight! Don't worry. Any you say. Yeah, ma'am. Aye-aye, sir. Okey-dokey. Why, I'll take care of him like he was my own brother. Or my own sister.

[Hits face on door]

Roger Rabbit: Ow! Or my brother's sister. Or my second cousin...

Jessica Rabbit: I suppose you lot think no one'southward going to notice Toontown's disappeared?

Guess Doom: Who's got time to wonder what happened to some ridiculous talking mice when they're driving past at 75 miles an hr?

Jessica Rabbit: What're you talking virtually? There's no route past Toontown.

[Eddie arrives with Roger at Dolores' store to get the handcuffs removed, and hibernate Roger from Judge Doom]

Dolores: I idea you said you'd never take some other toon case. What did you accept a change of centre?

Eddie Valiant: Cypher's changed. Somebody's fabricated a patsy outta me and I'chiliad gonna find out why!

Baby Herman: Whatta you know, you dumb broad? Y'all got the IQ of a rattle.

[Slaps woman's rear terminate]

Roger Rabbit: Jeepers, another stupid newsreel! I hate the news!

Roger Rabbit: [to Jessica, after they are most killed] I wasn't worried, were you?

Roger Rabbit: When you called Maroon, y'all told him you had the volition, merely y'all don't. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad! He might try to impale ya.

Eddie Valiant: I can handle a Hollywood cream puff. I merely don't want the odds to modify. You lot cover my back. If you hear or encounter anything, beep the horn twice.

[Eddie goes into Maroon's office]

Roger Rabbit: Yeah, that'south it, beep the horn twice. Cover your back. Male child, I'thousand prepare: dukes upwardly, eyes peeled, ears to the ground. Why, nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit!

[a frying pan is held to a higher place his head from behind; it slams down on his caput, knocking the rabbit out cold, afterwards which the assailant drags Roger around backside the wall]

[Psycho has died and his ghost floats heavenward, activating the dip cannon as he does and then]

Psycho: Bye-bye! Hee-hee!

Donald F. Duck: [playing "Hungarian Rhapsody #2"] This is hot stuff! Yeah!

Benny the Cab: [seeing 2 cars in each lane blocking his path] Will you look at these two?

[swerves by and between them]

Benny the Cab: Excuse me, ladies! Now that'due south what I call a couple of roadhogs.

Gauge Doom: [Explains his plan to Summon Roger] No Toon tin can resist the old shave-and-a-haircut fob...

Stupid: Duh, Toontown right on the other side of the wall, boss.

Eddie Valiant: Leave OF THAT CHAIR!... That's my brother'due south chair.

Roger Rabbit: [looking at photo on desk-bound] Yeah, where is your brother anyhow? He looks like a sensitive and... SOBER fellow.

Eddie Valiant: That'south it. I'm calling the cops.

Roger Rabbit: [leaving] Go ahead. Phone call the cops. I come here for help and what do you do? Yo turn me in. No, don't feel guilty about me. Then long, and thanks for nothing.

[slams door]

Eddie Valiant: That'southward the cupboard! Stupe!

Judge Doom: [afterward being sprayed by the dip] WAAAAAHHHHHH! I'M MELTING! MELTING!

[Moaning to his death]

R.K. Maroon: [Ducking under the defunction] Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? It's only Dense.

Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who information technology is.

[Maroon opens the window]

R.Chiliad. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney - him and half the bandage of Fantasia. The all-time part is, they work for peanuts.

[Throws peanuts to Dumbo, who flies off]

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